Athene Numphe (athene) wrote in shortys_brood,
Athene Numphe

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Memo to Boris

For my management class I had to write a fake business memo. The first thing that came to mind was a memo to Boris. After writing it I emailed the prof asking if it was appropriate for the assignment. It isn't (good thing I have an idea for another one), but it came out so well, I thought I would share it with y'all.

To: Boris Badenov Kitty, Housecat
From: Athene, Co-House Manager
Date: 11/30/2007
Subject: A number of problems

A number of problems regarding your behavior have recently come up. These problems include shedding, mewing loudly in the morning, and pouncing on your sister.

In regards to the shedding, I recognize that shedding your fur is a natural occurrence. However, you seem to shed proportionally more than I believe is needed. This overabundance of shedding is unhealthy for you, as it produces a higher rate of hairballs, as well as creates a messy look in the apartment. It would be a great help if you could reduce the amount of shedding that you do. If this is not possible, I would like to set up a meeting for next Tuesday to designate specific no shedding areas, such as the black couches and on top of the sweaters in the closet.

Recently there have been complaints about the noise level in the morning. Please understand that breakfast will be served in a timely manner and that mewing loudly does not have an effect on the speed of this process. Furthermore, entwining yourself around my legs or licking my feet as I walk by slow down the breakfast receiving process and should be ceased immediately.

I must inform you that there have been also been complaints about the aggressive nature of your behavior towards your sister. Natasha has informed me that she does not appreciate the fact that you continually pounce at her and states that she has clearly communicated this to you by hissing and swiping at you when you come near her. If you do not desist in this behavior, I will not be sympathetic to any scratches that you receive from her. If you believe that you are being wrongly accused, please let me know and I will set up a moderation time between the two of you.

Thank you for your understanding in these matters.

Warmest regards and pettings,

Edit: I wrote the serious memo, and then decided to include both of them in the e-Portfolio
Tags: boris, humor

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